


I Love You So Completely

by RinzlersGhost



Series: Tumblr Requests [2]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Other, Porn With Plot, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:20:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29802834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinzlersGhost/pseuds/RinzlersGhost
Summary: Anon asked for NSFW Haldir X Reader that was heavy on Angst.Haldir X Gender Neutral Reader*NSFW/18+/EXPLICIT CONTENT*
Relationships: Haldir of Lothlórien/Reader
Series: Tumblr Requests [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190627
Kudos: 7





	I Love You So Completely

**Author's Note:**

> Meleth/meleth-nin - Love/my love  
> Goheno nin - Forgive me  
> Naethen - I’m sorry  
> Le melin - I love you  
> The longer bits of Elvish text have the translations in the story with them, so that you’re not constantly having to scroll up.

Your talan in Lorien was quiet, too quiet, you thought miserably. You had all but begged Haldir not to depart with the Galadhrim for Helm’s Deep. The two of you had fought bitterly before he’d left. Now you would have given anything to run your hands through his flaxen hair again. You knew you were not alone-- there were so many others who had been left behind as their warriors marched onwards to battle, not knowing if they would come home again.

You didn’t know if he would come back. You didn’t know if he would even want to remain together if he did. You hadn’t touched anything yet. You hadn’t dared to go inside where you knew you would be greeted with shattered pots and broken glass where tempers had flared and boiled over, things had been said in anger and frustration, where you’d last seen him pick up his sword and belt it to his waist to leave without even saying goodbye.

For days that turned into weeks, you had steered clear of it, not wanting to deal with the disaster inside. But finally you were given no choice. Now the door was open and you were just standing in the doorway, blanching at the thought of going inside. But you did anyways, grimacing at the crunching of glass beneath your boots, warily lighting one of the oil lamps so that you could begin the process of cleaning up. You swept the glass into the wastebasket, placing the shattered pottery on the desk gently. The plant that had once been inside it had long withered without care, another broken reminder of what you had done to each other. You could only stare at the vast void of shadows that the lamp cast over the talan, reminding you again of how empty it was. Even if Haldir wasn’t there, you could have always counted on his brothers to be there, with Orophin’s incessant teasing and Rumil just shaking his head behind him, amused, but there was nothing. Even they had gone, marched to war with no promise of return. 

You dumped buckets of cold water into the bath, sinking to them with a shiver, cleaning the muck and grit from your body where you had spent days in the wilderness, searching the borders for any sign of return, avoiding other marchwardens in your time. You didn’t want conversation with them; you wanted your  _ meleth  _ to come back home! You wanted to apologize to him, to ask him if this could be worked out, but so far... nothing. You changed into something warm and stripped the sheets to new ones, clutching them close to your chest when you heard something fall to the floor, a metallic sound clinking together and hitting parchment. Curious you set new sheets on the bed and searched the floor for what had fallen, finding a small satchel and laying out the contents on the bed where you now sat.

There was a silver ring, Haldir’s courting ring you realized, followed by a much smaller golden ring, which you identified as the ring of marriage, followed by a letter folded to fit the bag. You unfolded it hesitantly.

_ Meleth-nin, by the time you read this, I will have left with the Galadhrim. I may even be in battle. I may be on my way home to you. The future cannot be known, not for us, not for many. I can only hope... I said things to you in anger, things that I did not mean, words of frustration that I did not intend for you. Goheno nin. Accept this token of my love, of our love, and know that I will wear its mate proudly into battle. Whether I come home or not, know that I love you most dearly, and that this decision was not made light-heartedly. Guren nallatha nalú achenin le: My heart shall weep until I see thee again. With all my love, and all my heart, Haldir. _

You wanted to scream. He had to have slipped it in here after you had stormed off in anger. You traced the elegant filigree of the golden band, like miniature leaves set into a circlet, exchanging it for the silver band and clutching the letter close to your heart as a troubled sleep took you.

* * *

As the days passed, patrols started coming in slowly. Reports were that the battle at Helm’s Deep was a success, but on the backs of elves and many were injured. You did all you could to ease their suffering, surrendering your own stocks of healing herbs, but at the end of the day, you were just as bloodstained as the rest of them. Many would never fight again. Some would never even walk again. You were dismayed at the numbers but tried to keep your feelings to yourself.

Legandir tried to joke with you as you tended to the deep cuts on his arm but it fell flat with the tension in the room. “You’ll never wield a bow again.” You were honest. Some of the other healers looked to you sharply but there was no room for nonsense here.

“I know.” He replied. “You look horrible.” 

“This isn’t about me.” You murmured, imparting a little bit of your fea to heal him, but not too much because you had a line of patients to see and you just wanted to make sure the bleeding stopped before you could pass him off to a less seasoned healer. There was no end to it, but at the end of your shift, you were stepping down to let one of the Imladris healers take over. The healing wards were swamped and your face was set in stone as you went home weary.

“I should have known you would be in the healing wards.” You turned the corner to see Haldir sitting on the edge of the bed. You were beyond speechless to see him sitting there. “You were never one to shirk from your duty.” He lifted his eyes to you. “ _ Meleth-nin _ .”

“Haldir.” You breathed out softly, crossing the room to kneel before him, touching his face as if to ascertain he was real. “How long have you...”

“Not long. Just for once noticed that the talan was closer than the healing wards. Thought I might get lucky and catch you here.” He whispered, bowing his head to his chest. He looked horrible, hair matted and bloodstained, the horrors of war showing on his face as it did to so many others you had healed. His armor was gone, bow missing, sword sheath empty. You cupped his face in your hands, bringing his eyes to yours.

“I love you. I’m sorry. I said things...”

“And I ignored them because I thought I was in the right.” Haldir nursed your touch with his right hand, and you noticed then that his left arm was bound and in a sling. “I was not. We lost so many on the battlefield. We could have used a troop of healers. I was wrong,  _ meleth _ .  _ Naethen _ .”

“I forgive you.” You breathed softly. “You’re injured.” His laugh was bitter.

“I’m alive. Thanks to my brothers. They’re the ones who got me here, on their way to the wards themselves.”

“I didn’t see them.”

“Their wounds were non grievous, minor.”

“And yours?” You frowned when he didn’t immediately reply, taking his arm out of the sling. “Haldir, you mustn’t...” And then he pulled the tunic over his head and you saw the line on the junction of his neck and collarbone and stood, eyes widening when you followed it down his back. It was so close to his spine that it could have been deadly just a few inches to the right. This was a combination of mannish and elvish medicine thrown together, stitches to force the wound closed, smattered with weak Elvish healing spells. “Is it the same with your arm?”

“Yes.” He breathed out, a sharp hiss between his teeth as your fingers grazed down sensitive flesh. You stepped away for a moment to dig through your emergency stash of healing herbs, grinding the athelas into a green paste and preparing it for use as you cut away the stitches.

“ _ Ceven dhaer, anno vellas lín enin 'raw hen: Great earth, may you give your strength to this body.” _ You murmured quietly, focusing your attention onto his wounds as he exposed the wound on his arm as well, taking some of the burden onto your spirit. You didn’t expect to feel the panic of the moment as your fingers lingered on the wound on his back. You could feel the memories attached to it-- the fear, the nausea, the absolute panic, and willed it down, imparting your healing via your fea, using the athelas to clean the wound and make sure that it healed to a treatable scar, an angry red, but more healed than simple field medicine.

“I thought of you.” Haldir murmured. “I missed you.” You said nothing, tending to his arm, repeating the process. The sheer pain of the blade cutting into his arm seared through you and you actually stiffened. “I’m sorry. I know healing with your fea can be painful. I have no right to ask it of you.”

“Haldir... it’s not healing with my fea that is painful. It’s... I’m reliving your moments on the battlefield, because we are bonded.” You whispered, pressing your head against his for a moment. He closed his eyes, leaning into your touch.

“If you don’t want there to be an us after this, I will understand.”

“I married you. I’m not going anywhere.” You replied, drawing up a warm bath. He caught sight of the ring on your hand and smiled, to himself if no one else.

“Even if we are not married through union?” He asked softly.

“Bath.” You murmured. “Now.” His movements were awkward and clumsy. The wounds still pained him, but he could at least move around more, and he stepped into the warm water, sinking into it with a sigh. You locked the door-- as of the moment you were unavailable-- and cleaned up your mess, putting new sheets on the bed, and eyeing him for a moment, before deciding to join him. Water spilled onto the floor as your knees met on either side of his hips.

“Well this is a welcome surprise.” Haldir murmured quietly. You agreed, taking your time to clean him off, taking painstaking care of his wounds, and working the blood and grit from his hair until it gleamed again. Then of course, you cleaned off yourself from a day in the healing wards. You passed him a towel as you stood, not bothering to get dressed, only to make sure that the bed had a warm quilt on it, joining him, quite naked on it, pressing yourself to him.

“I love you.” You whispered softly. “I thought I had lost you, not just in battle. To be honest, I think that hurt more than the thought of losing you in battle.”

“But... you got my note.”

“I did... a couple of weeks ago. I couldn’t bear to be in here and know that I’d probably ruined the one good thing I had in life. I didn’t come back. I couldn’t come back.” You admitted.

“I’m here. I’m here now.” Haldir soothed. “And trust me... I’m not going anywhere for awhile. I love you. My drive for you has kept me alive in uncertain moments.” You arched an eyebrow slightly, teasing him. Haldir stiffened beneath your touch; you certainly surprised him, and he paid it back by rolling his hips into your hand, rubbing his cock against you. “Minx.” Haldir breathed.

“You started it.” You replied, chuckling.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” But he smiled at you regardless of whether he meant it like that or not. You continued to tease him, fingers dancing across the head of his cock until you could feel the precum leaking down his shaft.

“I want you.” You whispered. “Do you give me a union of the body?”

“I do.” He replied softly. “I will not deny it to you, _meleth-nin_. Do you give me a union of the body?”

“I do.” You closed your eyes, sinking yourself onto him, reveling in the heat of his body. “ _ Meleth-nin _ !” The world could have fallen away in that moment and you wouldn’t have cared. All you knew was the feeling of his skin beneath yours, heat on heat that built until it burned, desire coiling in you. “I love you so completely.” You managed to rasp out between the moans that he had spilling from your lips, eyes dark and on you intently, his fingers pressed into your waist as your hips met in a desperate rhythm, bodies hungering for each other in ways you didn’t even know were possible. “Promise me.” You breathed, “Promise me, Haldir, that you will not leave again. Not without me.” 

“I promise.” Haldir murmured. “Let go, Y/N.” You could barely do as he commanded, surrendering yourself to the pleasure that he brought to you, keening out as your fingers dug into his wrists, desperate for release and sobbing his name when he finally brought you over the edge, nearing his own himself. He only needed a few more languid strokes of his hips against you, still quivering with your orgasm, to complete his own, fingers tightening bruisingly on your hips as he gasped out your name. You both collapsed back to the bed, side by side, panting. You finally summoned enough energy to nuzzle into him, pressing your lips to his cheek, kissing him amidst the tangles of hair slicked to his skin.

“Mmmm...” He wasn’t one to drift off to sleep, but the travel of the day had worn him down and he was currently content to just lay there. He summoned just enough energy to pull you close to his side, letting you rest against his chest.  _ “Le melin, Y/N.” _ It was nice to fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat again, nice to know he was there. You wrapped the quilt over you both, tucking him into bed with you.

“ _ Le melin _ , Haldir.” 


End file.
